Many times I came across stories where children grew up in an abandoned home situation. And as I have seen people in close vicinity, that it totally ruins your day to day life. There is this truth about toxic parenting traits and what I came across where they keep their child codependent on them. They perpetuate this idea of conditional and transactional love where they want their children to give back. And not really interested in raising better people. They want their expectations and desires to be fulfilled by their children and their forced false value system which they themselves are hypocritical about and also controlling issues. Now all this might seem bizarre and actually it is – since pain is familiar and love is overwhelming, let’s break these self-restricting mindsets and inculcate growth mindsets.
If right from childhood if you have had no one who spends time with you, understands you, or listens to you – maybe your parent were alcoholics, workaholics or people pleasers, etc. All these small experiences, trust issues, and abandonment issues keep getting piled up. And how do you deal with it, how do you deal with life when every day every single hour you are distracted, lose focus, lose interest in life, running away from problems, etc; and all the mental health issues and worst-case scenarios?
HOW DO YOU BUILD EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE?
I have come across one of the practical solutions, which when implemented, gave me upheavals, though it is self-realized but it took years of hard work and prayers that feel like I was finally answered. (Kindly go through the first blog post, ‘Self-talk and forgiveness,’ where many techniques I have mentioned that really hit the nail.). You hold onto trauma because more than forgiving others you are not able to forgive yourself. And it takes rebirths to untangle knots one by one, starting late is fine rather than not starting at all. Some of the below techniques could be overwhelming, but trust me, it is about your life, your journey – heal yourself. As we know abandoned people abandon every other relationship, so you cannot blame anyone anymore now with full responsibility, you have to become your own parent—telepathically, you will spend time with each one of your parent, and how let’s get straight to the solutions.
1) Heal relationship with parents –
Visualise that you are meeting child version of your father or mother, and spend time with him telepathically – any skill you want to learn but not able to focus or enjoy studying it. So ask that child version of your parent to help you out and you express your need that you wish to learn from him/her. So when you say or ask you show trust and literally mean that you need them – which not only heals your abandonment issue but also theirs. And that is miraculous, by spending time with your parent which was your dream, (after experiencing this it made me emotional and I literally stopped running away from myself and my life.) Similarly spend time with your mother; bring her child version in front of you and you will see the magic. And affirm like “I seek your help, papa in this work,” “Please help me in this work mamma.” So, use these statements and seek help telepathically.
Results – Literally, how my parents used to run away from me or even a single communication was difficult but when I started visualising I saw both of them wanting to talk to me, and remember that we have to speak as a grown-up like a mother talking to a child.
Results – In reality, I saw them avoiding me less and smiling and laughing, also because I couldn’t wait to spend time with them telepathically and I couldn’t stop smiling, I was that happy and it has become an everyday story now. So, you not only heal your abandonment issues but also that of your parents, that’s why people say when you heal, the entire family heals. And that’s how significant it is to self-improve to work on yourself so that you can uplift your entire family and break free from generational traumas.
2) Heal relationship with partner –
I have seen partners being scared of each other or fear-based relationships stopping each other from growing, etc. There are these traits where not listening to each other or understanding or even providing basic moral support—a relationship does demand certain efforts to heal it.
Similarly to the first point, visualize a child version of your partner and teach them everything that you ever wish to teach them, which you don’t have to do literally, like pinpointing things or complaints or some bad habits you don’t like about them, etc. By learning and teaching each other telepathically, just like how any good parent teaches a child and how you wish to be treated so you teach that child version how to be kind to themselves and the people around them. Probably your partner was abandoned too, just like you, and many people never got a chance to live their childhood because of lots of conflicts like constant fights due to alcohol, money, etc; at home and many other reasons subject to different situations and environments.
Results – I saw hope for change and forgiveness in people’s eyes.
3) Heal your relationship with yourself –
This is really interesting, as I have completed 28 years of my life, I miss my teenage age when I was full of life, passion, energy, aspirations to win the world, to be an achiever, a dreamer, and whatnot. But I have also read somewhere that some studies shows that after the age 25, our belief system becomes rigid and there seems to be lack of flexibility in mindset and if you have had some serious troubled childhood then please learn to be kind to yourself. For example things or stuffs like where persistence is required whether it’s your passion or day job which was difficult but you did it, achieved it but there is something missing or you want to do something what you are passionate about alongside your job but your mindset has already given up or feel like it’s too late or other self limiting traits like self sabotaging belief systems that you had no choice but learnt from your environment unknowingly. Or perhaps because of money and expense demands you have a certain lifestyle that doesn’t necessarily fulfill or satisfy you, so the list goes on and on.
But just like that first point visualise yourself as if you are talking to that girl/ boy once again and asking her/ his help to drive your dream life. Asking for help to your child version, teenage version and repeating this affirmation that you are loved unconditionally.
Results – I remain excited day in and day out about my future projects as I tune in with that timeline of my highest frequency of ambition and passion.
4) Heal your relationship with your pet animals –
Many times as pet grows up he gets neglected since people have jobs to do and everyone needs rest when they return home. So, visualise child version of your dog and spend as much time as you can with them – you will experience a certain shift and taste of unconditional love as it will reduce screen time and overall lethargy – eventually, your pet will understand and trust you better. Because I have heard of many pet parents regretting – they wished if they could have spent more time with their furry friends. My pet demands my time he will bark till I listen to him and he makes sure literally that I must see sunrise and sunsets and take a morning walk with him.
Result – At times it could be taxing but as soon as I saw puppy in him immediately, I became playful since it also reminded me that when he was a pup he was neglected back in the past so now I make sure I give him all love and he give back those tiny hops filled with excitement as if he too traveled back in time.
5) Heal your relationship with neighbors/ strangers –
You don’t have to have a relationship with everyone who we call stranger. This means acquaintance is enough or formal greeting is enough with strangers for your safety issues. Neighbours don’t talk to each other, students prefer groupism, office colleagues prefer competition, teachers prefer favoritism, etc; but your life is about you, you are not here to live what others want, right? Now, you have to rebuild your relationship with your teachers, colleagues, peers, neighbors, etc. It does take efforts to show that care and also to stand on your ground when unrealistic expectations are demanded from you and you have to learn to say no with a telepathic prayer for them for example; you are loved unconditionally – so this affirmation is like a prayer it has so much power that it could probably calm down the nervous system. So relationships are not about receiving – it is about giving, how you make them feel when they try to talk to you or vice versa. Overall any relationship works when you are a 100% giver and you don’t worry about what you get, you just don’t expect anything in return except basic respect, love, trust, and healthy boundaries – when these simple needs are not met, then it becomes transactional, just give and take or tit for tat, basically bitter.
Results – When we pray for toxic people like basic prayer that you are loved unconditionally, then suddenly they lose power to hurt you, which doesn’t mean people will change for you they won’t unless it comes from within, but you will change your life for sure.
When you heal your relationships and abandonment issues with your parents, siblings, pet animals, etc – you will open-up to doors full of new opportunities and possibilities, basically to live and enjoy your life and manifest everything healthy as you level up your game and work on your life. (If you have come across this far till the end of this article, I would suggest going through my other blogpost as all are interconnected) and also keep communicating with the Universe and pay gratitude to it. I am grateful to share it with you all, finally healing the inner child and abandonment issues. Also, affirm, It’s about my life, and I am loved unconditionally.